Inevitable

I don’t have a heart of gold, I have a heart of silver.

What is a heart of silver, you ask? Well I’m glad you’re curious because frankly I am too. What the hell does it mean to have a heart of silver? I just kind of made it up on the spot to try and be witty for the podcast, but I don’t think it’s working. In fact I’m literally making it worse the longer I keep talking so I’m going to stop now. It’s Heart of Gold, written by Brett Matthews and aired on August 19, 2003.

Show-notes:
3:52: Somehow I googled “I’m down Seinfeld” and found out it was apparently in a bunch of episodes, so here’s a random clip of “Alright, I’m down” from a random episode.
6:07: Did Brett Matthews do more than just get Joss Whedon coffee? Decide for yourself.
6:53: Here’s the interview with Bret Matthews. He doesn’t say anything about being Whedon’s assistant.
7:28: We talked about Gold over on Zenith: A Blake’s 7 Podcast, our Blake’s 7 podcast.
8:32: How long do you think it’ll be until our show-notes are just 50 notes referring to other episodes of our own podcast? Well anyway, we watched Once Upon a Time in the West on Triple Play: A Movie Trilogy Podcast, our movie trilogy podcast. Here’s the first scene of Once Upon a Time in the West by the way. Pretty good scene. Shoutout to whoever uploaded it to Vimeo.
10:15: Here’s the full soundtrack to Once Upon a Time in the West if you have one hour, five minutes, and six second to kill.
15:07: Ever closer to the singularity, check out Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast, our Doctor Who podcast.
18:52: A remarkably prescient slip given what happens “Next Week on Firefly.” (Hint: it’s a deleted scene involving incest.)
24:21: Bolo ties are actually very fashionable, ok? (Editor’s note: nah.)
25:48: Yes, yes I do.
41:33: 9. Hide your kids, hide your wife is nine years old.
47:37: Not sure wtf I was even talking about here because she doesn’t even die in the episode. Lmao.
58:29: Interestingly, this is the Firefly episode I’ve gutted the most audio out of for Inevitable. A solid 10-11 minutes.
59:53: I don’t even know where to start looking deciding what exactly I’ll link for this so I’ll let Wikipedia tell you all about Milton.
1:14:13: Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne.
1:21:00: Here you go, go and learn about one of the weirdest planes still in service: the V-22.
1:22:21: Hugh Laurie also filmed this audition tape in a bathroom in a hotel in Africa, if I recall correctly.

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I’m sending out an SOS.

I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle. Yeah I just quoted a Police song in the podcast description. What are you gonna do about it? That’s right, nothing cuz the version of me that wrote this is long moved past this joke by the time you read this. It’s The Message, written by Joss Whedon and Tim Minear and aired on July 15, 2003.

Show-notes:

2:01: Check out Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast, our Doctor Who podcast.
4:21: For everybody else who doesn’t know who Jerry Bruckheimer is, Wikipedia is here to help.
7:01: Damn…
7:22: As I’m about to discover, Iron Man is actually a Black Sabbath song, not an AC/DC song.
8:52: DOCTOR WHOOOO HEY. Doctor Who.
9:30: Movements in Film has more information on the Kuleshov effect if you’re curious. And why wouldn’t you be?
20:07: There are Firefly Novels being published in 2021, and one of them prominently features Jayne’s knit cap.
21:20: Here’s the Cowboy Bebop wiki page on the episode Kiyan is talking about.
22:35: Cowboy Bebop actually takes place in 2071, so I was 1 year off. Sue me.
23:52: Much Ado About Nothing, 2012.
25:00: Joss Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing Isn’t Much of Anything at All. Enjoy this Wired article you freaks.
31:30: I really did google it, and the second result that came up is this Discover article on removing someone’s amygdala.
46:42: The reference is to Robocop. I don’t know why I keep making Robocop references.
51:24: I watched an ok-ish movie about this years ago called Buried.
1:06:15: I believe this is the page that Kiyan is looking at for this character age information. (Editor’s note: yep)
1:13:35: A kind piratey soul uploaded the video of the Toy Story 2 bloopers to YouTube.

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Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

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Something something wish dot com tactical jacket.

Look I’ll give it to you straight doc, I don’t know what to write here. I could make a bunch of jokes about trash but Kiyan made most of them in the episode. Ok so did I, I made a bunch of those jokes too. So it seems kind of overplayed now, I don’t want to beat the dead horse, you know? This nonsense late night rambling will have to do for you. It’s Trash, written by Ben Edlund and Jose Molina and aired on June 28, 2003.

Show-notes:
0:52: Wow my accent really came out here for some reason.
1:36: Here’s the same article I linked a few weeks ago indicating that Firefly was rerun.
6:01: Some hero uploaded the opening scene of Breaking Bad to YouTube so we can confirm this for you.
7:10: fornoob dot com has some more information on Mal’s tattoo. Apparently Nathan Fillion got it when he was young and now regrets it. Lmao sucks.
12:41: Check out Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast, our Doctor Who podcast.
15:40: Check out Zenith: A Blake’s 7 Podcast, our Blake’s 7 podcast.
25:50: Ron Glass actually died in 2016. Damn.
33:44: Russell Madden comes through with the transcript of the episode.
43:34: Why am I the one always linking random memes in the show-notes. It’s apparently actually a monkey puppet.
54:24: Here’s our episode on Blake’s 7’s Breakdown on our Blake’s 7 podcast Zenith: A Blake’s 7 Podcast.

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If I could have titled this episode, it would have been titled “The Absolution of Jayne Cobb” (Editor’s note: I like “Toiling Down Memory Lane” better.)

Once upon a time I fought in a war. I mean, not really. I couldn’t even comprehend what it would be like to fight in a war. I’m actually a vehement pacifist. That last statement is true, by the way, I didn’t make it up for this sort of pseudo-story I’m telling in the episode description. It’s War Stories, written by Cheryl Cain and aired on December 6, 2002

Show-notes:
1:16: I’d actually highly recommend checking out All That Jazz, it’s great.
12:28: It was me James, the author of All Your Pain.
12:55: I jerked you off at superspeed!
23:25: You can go back and find that discussion in our episode on Serenity.
26:15: Yeah, they were ghillie suits.
31:36: Ok, fine, you’ve twisted my arm. I’ll link to How The Grinch Stole Christmas. (Editor’s note: why? Also check out Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast, our Doctor Who Podcast, to hear us talk about Doctor Who.)
33:53: Christianity.com says that “masturbation is the result of sin”, not that masturbation is a sin itself. The guy I was talking about here was Onan. He kinda screwed in this whole debate honestly. For a potentially more “neutral” view on the topic, you can check wikipedia’s Religious Views on Masturbation.
37:44: GORE WARNING. Here’s the paper with surgical pictures of a reattached ear.
38:55: Here, go ahead, I know you wanted the article about reattaching someone’s genitals.
39:37: See show-note 37:44.
40:36: Couldn’t really find anything outright saying literati is a derogatory term, but considering what literati means I can definitely see it being used that way.
45:01: Fun fact, The Power and the Glory was apparently first published in the US under a different name.
46:20: For some reason the only video I could find of the ending to Bourne Identity included the entire credits. Also, check out our Bourne episode over on Triple Play: A Movie Trilogy Podcast, our movie trilogy podcast.
47:41: This is probably an overgeneralization, but oh well. Here’s Graham Greene’s bibliography by the way. Also the book we were talking about here takes place around/during the Cristero War, but there is a long history of religious suppression in Mexico.
52:46: A lot of Bond references this week. I’m referencing No Time to Die here, and I won’t link this scene or even try to find it because it’s still in theatres when this goes out and that’d probably be piracy.
1:04:09: Check out our first episode on Doctor Who: Flux here.
1:06:01: Check out how Firefly did in the ratings here on Wikipedia.
1:06:11: I regretfully link you to Lexx on Inevitable.
1:08:12: Here, no worries, future Dylan here to link you the TV Tropes page.
1:13:15: Flatland is also based on a book from 1884. How prescient. (Editor’s note: what?)
1:17:56: Dylan neglected to put the link that Steven provided here, but I’m guessing he was referring to this Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories commercial. The song is “Simple and Clean” by Utada Hikaru.
1:18:04: Check out the M4trix episode over on Delayed Replay.

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Yeah, just to confirm, I still think of the font when I read this title.

The font is actually spelled totally differently, you know. It’s spelled like Arial, whereas this episode actually is spelled like the name of the little mermaid, Ariel. Just wanted to make sure I put that information out into the world. It’s Ariel, written by Jose Molina and aired on November 15, 2002

Show-notes:
1:38: No, I will not tell you who I know on Greenleaf.
2:06: Here’s a picture of Jose Molina. Not to be confused with the baseball player, of course.
13:19: I actually thought about linking Robin Hood here, but if you don’t know who or what Robin Hood is then… come on, you know?
15:50: A surprisingly small amount of people actually realize that Ocean’s Eleven is a remake of a movie from 1960. We also talked about the original O11 on Triple Play.
28:57: Interstingly, House actually began airing after Firefly. Not that we were saying this was a direct and explicit reference or anything.
38:52: Speaking of Doctor Who, Doctor Who is back with Doctor Who: Flux! Check out our coverage of Doctor Who: Flux on our Doctor Who podcast, Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast.
40:42: Wikipedia has all the TV Parent’s Guide ratings documented pretty well.
44:52: THEY’REE HEEEEEEERRREEE
57:37: Hear more of our unpopular opinions on Ocean’s 11/12/13 on Triple Play episode.

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I almost ran out of gas getting to the gas station the other day.

So I’m pretty sure I have a 10 gallon tank and somehow the other day I put 10.2 gallons in my car. Either I somehow have a larger tank or I overfilled the car. Or, by some miracle, my car was literally running on fumes. Look there must be a simple explanation to this but for some reason I choose to believe the most fantastical. It’s Out of Gas, written by Tim Minear and aired on October 25, 2002

Show-notes:
1:44: Literally via the the Oxford English Dictionary [Editor’s note: is this just a copypasted definition from the page for “literally?”] I. a. In a literal, exact, or actual sense; not figuratively, allegorically, etc. […] c. colloquial. Used to indicate that some (frequently conventional) metaphorical or hyperbolical expression is to be taken in the strongest admissible sense: ‘virtually, as good as’; (also) ‘completely, utterly, absolutely’.
2:06: Doctor Who: Flux Episode 1: The Halloween Apocalypse went out on October 31, 2021. Our episode on it will go out in November 7, 2021. Catch it on Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast, our Doctor Who podcast.
3:56: 10 Hidden Details You Missed in The Episode Out of Gas. This has to be the worst article title of all time, by the way.
17:04: Believe it or not, both cosmetology and cosmology both originate  (if you go far enough back) from the word kosmos. Thanks etymonline. [Editor’s note: Wait, why is this hard to believe?] 21:20: Gonna link the Magnum, PI wiki for all you under-30s out there. [Editor’s note: We’re under 30.] 22:26: Here’s a good article on being an accent chameleon.
33:10: Here’s the TV Tropes recap page for Out of Gas in case you really REALLY have nothing better to do.
59:27: I don’t remember what my order was either, but you can find out for me if you go and listen to our Fall Out episode of Inevitable.
1:04:30: Angel began airing in 1999, so before Firefly.
1:05:43: Never eat pears. Also I was mistaken, this was in Human Nature, not Blink.
1:11:12: NaNoWriMo 2021 has officially started. If you want to read my (Dylan’s) novel as I write it, I’m putting the full text online day by day over here.
1:12:29: The documentary is called What We Left Behind.
1:13:31: Apparently the Science Channel re-ran Firefly in 2011.
1:15:59: Victor Mair writes a little on the mutual intelligibility of Sinitic languages. Many of them are not mutually intelligible when spoken.
1:19:18: To quote my show-notes from last week: “There is a Hallmark Christmas Movie podcast, it’s called Deck the Hallmark.” Their exact description is as follows: “Join Bran, Panda, and Dan as they attempt to watch and review Hallmark movies. Just 3 dudes…watching made-for-tv movies. What could go wrong?”

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Apparently “Jaynestown” is frequently featured on “wtf is this in Firefly” lists. [Editor’s note: I assume that Dylan assumed that I would add more to this intro. Little did he know that I’m actually going to add nothing to it at all… wait, damn!]

It’s Jaynestown, written by Ben Edlund and aired on October 18, 2002

Show-notes:
2:30: Ben Edlund really did create the Tick, we didn’t make this part up.
3:55: Just gonna link Marita Grabiak’s imdb page, because that’s what I’m reading during this segment. And yes, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey is the second Bill and Ted movie.
5:00: It’s Four Weddings and a Funeral, and it’s actually a TV show now, in addition to originally being a movie.
6:51: FINE, here’s Christmas on Wheels for you.
7:07: There is a Hallmark Christmas Movie podcast, it’s called Deck the Hallmark.
18:25: Here’s an intro physics course talking about the strength of ceramics.
19:27: Wikipedia has a surprisingly complex and in depth discussion on the shuttle heat shields. Also, for more on The Daemons and other Doctor Who related stuff, check out our Doctor Who podcast, Trust Your Doctor: A Doctor Who Podcast.
3:55: I meant to say Ben Edlund here.
28:23: Here, follow along at home.
34:22: Animaniacs made fun of obsessive fans in this bit, the “Please Please Get a Life Foundation”
37:40: I actually can’t find anything saying the Okapi was thought to be extinct. It’s just endangered and restricted to specific habitats. Same with the gnu actually. Not sure why I thought that.
37:57: That episode of Delayed Replay covered the obviously super successful K9: Timequake movie. (We also didn’t actually look up the status of the Okapi in that episode. We just talked about it without actually looking up any information about it.)
1:03:28: I don’t know what to tell you if you don’t know what How the Grinch Stole Christmas is.\
1:13:16: Notto be confused with The Nutshack.

Firefly © Fox Television
Any other references belong to their respective owners, no copyright infringement is intended by this podcast.

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