Whomanji

A Big Start Production

Brian Williams was sad. But then, he felt less sad when he heard the familiar hum of the TARDIS. It was in the form of a blue police box. The door opened, and he recognized the familiar face of the Eleventh Doctor.

“Doctor?” Brian said. “I thought you were never gonna visit again?”

“So did I. Wasn’t sure I could show my face here again after what happened with Amy and Rory… But I found them, Brian! And we can bring them back to the future!”

“But I thought-”

“Trust your Doctor! Consequences can be rewritten as long as it’s done well!”

Eager to see his son and daughter-in-law again, Brian did not give it a second thought. He entered TARDIS. Waiting inside were two robots.

“These are K-9 and Kamelion,” he said to Brian.

“Affirmative,” K-9 said.

“Who?” Brian asked.

K-9 then proceeded to play the theme song for K-9 and Company.

“Hello Brian,” Kamelion said, taking Brian’s shape to demonstrate his ability.

After they landed, they went outside and saw a jungle.

“Magnificent place, isn’t it, Brian? You might find a decorative vegetable to wear around here.”

Suddenly, some Cybermen showed up.

“You will be deleted!”

They tried firing at Brian, but he ducked and fell down a hill. Once he reached a stable surface, he wandered around, trying to think of how he could get back to the TARDIS to help The Doctor. After a short while, he bumped into two other somewhat elderly men.

“I’m Graham. This here is Wilf. You look to me like a Walmart Wilf.”

“I’m Brian. How familiar are you two with this place?”

“Not very,” Wilf said. “We were abducted and put here.”

“We’re probably being hunted for sport,” Graham guessed. “Were you abducted too?”

“No,” Brian answered. “I came here with my friend. We’re looking for my son and my daughter in law. My friend’s name is… Well, he’s called The Doctor.”

Wilf and Graham’s eyes lit up.

“Time traveler?” Wilf asked.

“Yes! You know him?”

“Yes,” Wilf said. “But it’s been so long. Last I saw him, he seemed to be dying.”

“Last I saw The Doctor,” Graham said, “She was doing fine.”

“She?” Wilf repeated. “Must’ve changed.”

“Well The Doctor I came with was a young man with a bow tie,” Brian explained.

“That doesn’t sound quite exactly like The Doctor I know,” Wilf said. “He wore a trench coat.”

“Well, whichever Doctor it is,” Graham said, “they’re a trustworthy friend. So let’s find him. Where did you last see him?”

Brian led the way, but they got lost. They kept yelling “Doctor!” in hopes of finding help. Then they found another old man.

“Who the hell are you?” the old man asked.
“Who are you?” Brian asked.

“Why, I am The Doctor,” the First Doctor said.

“The Doctor? But you’re so…different.”

“I take it that you have seen a future version of myself. Is that correct? Hmm?”

“Yes, that is in fact correct. You MUST be The Doctor to have come to that conclusion so easily.”

“Now, have any of you seen Steven and Dodo?”

“We’ve only seen each other,” Wilf said.

Out of the corner of his eye, Brian saw a familiar face, accompanied by K-9 and Kamelion.

“Doctor!”

“There you are, Brian.”

“Everyone,” Brian said, “This is The Doctor. Another one, anyway.”

They noticed that this Doctor was carrying a gun.

“Wait a minute,” Graham said. “Does The Doctor use guns?”

“That’s irrelevant,” The Doctor(?) said with a sly smile. “I am not The Doctor.”

“Good,” the First Doctor said. “Because I would not be caught dead wearing a bow tie like that which you wear.”

“You look exactly like The Doctor I know!” Brian said. “Who are you, then?”

“Some call me Alex. But really, I’m Skynet. If you survive this game, then you will witness the Genesis of the Terminators!”

(DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN!)

Alex took the form of a Terminator. Kamelion followed suit. His eyes turned red, and so did K-9’s. And then a Dalek with the skull of a Terminator on top showed up. Clearly, it was all artificial.
“Ex-Terminate!” it yelled. “Ex-Terminate!”
Alex/SkyNet charged his gun. Suddenly, a man rocking a formal outfit that included a pink blazer showed up, driving the yellow car Bessie and accompanied by Amy. Bessie crashed into the Dalek Terminator, destroying the foe completely. The bald man in the pink blazer grabbed the gun out of the Terminator’s hands and threw it aside. Then he grabbed the artificial face and ripped it off, revealing the metal skull beneath. He punched it until it was no more. Then he used a sonic screwdriver to fix Kamelion, who reverted back to his original form. Then he fed K-9 a K-9 snack that made him feel better.

“Amy?” Brian asked.

“Yes,” Amy said. “It’s me.”

“Where’s Rory?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” the man in the pink blazer said. “I see you’ve all met the First Doctor.”

“Have we met?” the First Doctor asked.

“Kinda. When are you from? What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I bit into some sweets,” the First Doctor said. “And then suddenly I was here! I have no idea where my assistants have gone!”

“How do your teeth feel? Do they hurt?”

“What are you, a Tooth Fairy?”

“He could be a dentist?” Graham said.

“Dentist who?” the First Doctor asked.

“Everyone,” Amy said, “this is The Doctor. Another one, anyway.”

“I’m your future self. You won’t remember after all this is done. And if I’m right, then you just faced the Celestial Toymaker. This is another one of his games.”

“Ah, yes. I had a feeling that we’d bump into him again. Didn’t realize it’d be this soon.”

“He looks different now. Looks like Rocky and has gone by the name Sebastian. Years ago, the Toymaker started dabbling in video games, even catching the attention of Spy Kids from the OSS. This even led to the downfall of The Guy, also known as Beck from a game called Tron.”

“I see,” the First Doctor said. “What game has he placed us in?”

“It’s a game called…” the new Doctor looked up at the sky, and uttered the name of the game that was also the title of this episode, “Whomanji.”

Jack Black appeared with a guitar and yelled, “Rock on!” before playing the Doctor Who theme.

END CREDITS

Introducing Dwayne Johnson as Rock Tor Who.